Throughout our days many of us frequently engage in conversations with ourselves but silently in our minds. While it is great to be your own best friend the unfortunate thing though is that we usually talk to ourselves in a way that is the opposite of how we would ever talk to a best friend. Our conversations with ourselves often consist of negative self-talk. We have a tendency towards being aboundingly critical of ourselves. We knock ourselves for all kinds of things. We can be unsupportive and sometimes even obsessive.
Negative self-talk is typically inadvertent but it is also so frequent and common that many of us do not even notice we do it. A great question is: What if we took all that negative self-talk and changed it into positive self-talk?
Chances are that if you are at the Positivity Toolbox website and reading this you have heard of the Law of Attraction and while this is not an article about the Law of Attraction, it is quite relevant to this discussion. Just in case you are unfamiliar with it, the Law of Attraction is basically this: “Like attracts Like.” To be a bit more specific, negative thinking brings about negative results and positive thinking brings about positive results. There is more to it, but even just taking the basic principle of the Law of Attraction, you can see that negative self-talk whether it is done on a conscious or subconscious level brings about negative results!
Dr. Julian Jaynes, psychologist, once wrote about a woman who talked daily to her long-dead grandmother, who she saw sitting in a chair each morning. As far as Dr. Jaynes could tell, the woman never suffered any ill effects from this nor was she diagnosed as being mentally ill in any way, shape or form. In fact, she (the woman) readily accepted that it was a hallucination, which did not bother her at all and found the conversations, and her grandmother’s advice, helpful.
Hallucinations and/or advice from ghosts are not necessary to attract positivity into our lives, but let’s consider this question – Why not have a conversation in your head with somebody helpful and positive? Ideally the best positive person to talk to would be yourself, but we know that sometimes we are not a good person for ourself to talk with. If you are not feeling positive or you feel like you might not be able to trust yourself to give yourself the positive encouragement like a best friend would, think of someone positive you do know, like your real life best friend, and begin the “conversation” with them — in your mind. Envision encouragement, solutions, answers to questions and healthy ways to deal with stressors and negativity in your life.
It that does not work, consider having an imaginary conversation with a person you do not know personally. For example, if you want advice on love, talk to the Dalai Lama. Talk to Andrew Carnegie or Lee Iacocca if you want to make a factory more productive. Oprah Winfrey might give you an idea or two – we know for a fact that she is full of great ideas. Perhaps your imaginary Oprah can assist in coming up with a creative idea, or maybe she’ll ask you a question that produces something useful. Hey, maybe she’ll even fill you in on some of her secrets of how she became the wealthiest, most successful woman in the world.
Regardless, if you use this exercise, envision an image of someone you respect and know something about. This helps you easily imagine what they might say. Do you know at least one person that seems to make the most of out every situation? Have a little “chat” with them.
This exercise works beautifully especially when you ask your imaginary person questions. Why? Because in asking questions, answers appear.
Finally, consider this – in thinking about the self-talk you engage in, remember that the information needed to make a right decision is there inside you already but we are often confused, misguided or engaging in self-doubt. When you hear a supportive voice in your mind from one of these imaginary people you could talk with, even though it is not real, you immediately imagine this authority giving you real advice. The truth is, however, it is YOU! You have the tools you need. Sometimes, however, our conscious mind just needs a little “trick” to get going.
Over time, this exercise creates a greater sense of trust in oneself because a deeper sense of inner security is developed when we tap into resources within ourselves. So why not start talking with imaginary friends and advisors? Ask for help with anything you need. Get creative ideas from them. Positive self-talk is a powerful way to draw on the power of your unconscious mind.
More Tools for Positive Self-Talk: Encouraging Quotes
For Positivity Tools sent to your inbox every Tuesday, sign up for Tuesday Positivity Tools: Sign Me Up For Tuesday Tools!
More Positivity Tools:
This article was written by Positivity Toolbox